Ladies, let us admit, at one point in our lives, we have all had to play the role of a convenience chick. If you haven’t, you soon will, chill!
Oh, i see your raised brow and i would concur if only i didn’t know any better. Chill, y’all lemme tell you what I’m about.
Ohhh, most importantly, by convenience chick i don’t actually mean side chick, you know what the word “convenience” mean? Yeah, that’s what I’m about but if the shoe fits…
WHAT IS A CONVENIENCE CHICK?
Do you ever get lines like “Yo! I’m kinda bored, we should hang” or “wanna get down tonight?” Then, bless the Lord sistah because you have been convenience-chick-zoned.
A convenience chick is a chick for the night and not for the ride. Bringing it home, its more like, some people don’t love you, they don’t even care about you. They just wanna stay connected to you. They love the benefits, so they do the minimal… A little call here and there. What they’re really doing is establishing a connection, so when they need you, they still have a way in. Don’t get too worried, I’ll give you pointers on how to know you’re a convenience chick…
1. Roses are red, violets are blue, if he said he’s busy tonight, the sidechick is you…
Honestly when you think about it, this happens a
lot more with women than it does with men and the worst thing is when sidepieces do not realize
they are sidepieces. Real women get a call before
bed, side chicks get a text (if that). Girlfriends get
the “Hey babe, what’s up?” whereas the girl on
the side gets a “Yo where you at?” You know
you’re the side chick when you don’t get a good
morning or goodnight text, the only thing you’re
getting is a “sorry I fell asleep last night.”
2. He Never Titles You
Case scenario, it’s your birthday and he puts up your picture on his social media (if at all) and that’s it, no caption or title like ‘bae’ or something or a long cliché caption going on about how he loves you and yada-yada. Secondly, if he’s active on his social media and he never recognizes you or talks about you or replies your comments with sweet nothings but when y’all alone,he goes all romeo on you, then you’re not priority to him but convenient for the time being and if he gives you an excuse like, he likes his life private, HE’S LYING.
3. He doesn’t like to be seen with you in public
This one i should say hurts the most. From years of private studies, i can safely claim that when a man loves a woman, he wants to show her off, no matter how plain looking or ugly she is, he wants to hold her, touch her cheek or something in public, I mean that’s how we know you’re together, right? Now, if you have a guy you think has the hots for you and he doesn’t hold your hand in public or if the both of you end up together in public by accident (trust me, they try to avoid this at all cost)and he acts as formal as possible, keeping that cute little distance enough to not send red alerts to anyone watching. What he’s doing is keeping himself open. Ladies tend to avoid like a plague, men who are taken (and respect also, a man who is taken and doesn’t hide it) . Nobody wants to share, and he knows this, so he keeps himself free and not attached to anyone, and you hear such guys say things like “I don’t want to date, i don’t like dating” but obviously, they like the benefits of dating without commitments and that’s where you come in, convenience chick. Oh, and you are not alone. Guys do not usually have one convenience chick, there’s the back-up-plan chick, but that’s a story for another day.
4. Instinct, Baby, instinct.
I used to have this acquaintance who once told me to never make mistakes, that a wise man learns from the mistakes of others. Now,this is true but then there are people like me who are walking catastrophes, we always make mistakes and when i mean always, i mean, always. Funny enough, soon after hearing that advice, i learned the biggest and worst lesson of my life… From experience. Yeah, so i can safely tell you (since i learn from experience and nothing beats knowledge by experience, i mean, that’s why we do practicals in school, right?), when your instinct tells you something about a guy, often than not,it’s right.
My Philosophy lecturer would say, inherent in man are basic elements that guides the principles of right and wrong, this, gentlemen and ladies of the Internet , is your instinct.
I Have learnt also from experience that my instinct is almost never wrong about anybody, boys especially. Sometimes, when the girls and i are together and someone says something along the lines of “You know so and so dude, i think he’s cute and stuff and dateable, what do you girls think”, we can all sit and bring our memories of the guy and decide if he’s wrong or if he’s good to go from the way he walks (Yes! You can know a proud person from his gait), the way he talks, but the most important of all is the way he deals with attention. Now, everyone likes attention but if a guy loves it and acts like he can’t live without it, a little attention from any chick and you see him flirting, baby girl, trust me on this, he ain’t the one, he has some growing up to do. Now, there was this dude i used to talk to and one day he talked nasty about my friend, why? She sees him and doesn’t acknowledge him, rather, greet him. There and then, i knew my friendship with this guy would be short-lived (Dear Lord, let him not see this blog post lol) Instinct, baby, instinct is never wrong. I mean,how a guy treats or talks about other girls says a lot about him. There’s this quote i saw on Rita Dominic’s Instagram which goes…
“Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment but a competition none of us agreed to”
Relating this to our present day, most guys tend to make this stupid blunder. For instance, if a guy is flirting with a girl who has a nice ass, often than not, they tend to skinny-sham (this is not a cry for help lol, us skinny girls love ourselves enough already) and what irks me is the fact that the other chick feels complimented. May i have you know, little miss sunshine, if he shams another (slut-sham, fat-sham, skinny-sham), sweetheart, he will sham you too, even if you looked like Beyonce and Kim Kardashian all in one. Well, that’s how you know a good man from a ‘boy’.
Of all the ways of knowing where you stand with someone, instinct is the most important, you have it, use it. I love giving personal instances so you don’t think what i write at 5Am in the morning is a joke. Now, there was this guy who used to come on to me, when it’s convenient to him, by this, i mean, we ‘hang’ where he wants and when he wants and the next day, act like strangers in public, no talking or hand holding (i mean, a dude gotta keep himself open, right?) , till he’s ready to ‘hang’ again. Now, the fist day we really talked, my instinct told me, “Baby, he’s not a ride or die, he’s just here for the moment, be wise chicca”, so seeing him ‘hanging’ with other girls soon after was no surprise to me.
The thing with boys (note that i said boys) these days is that they have the attention span of a frog, and frogs don’t have attention spans. Boys want to have it all, from one chick, on to the next. This is not in any way to sound pained or stuff, i only say facts as they are, and proven by studies (undertaken by me of course). Now, a real man on the other hand knows what he wants, goes for it and stays there, if he’s not happy, he moves. The choice is yours to consider boys, or men (Choose ye, this day, whom ye shall serve). However, in all your dealings, remember, the instinct isn’t known to lie.
Also remember that you’d never see women arguing over a good man, because a good man doesn’t put you in a position of not knowing where you stand. Many times, we wonder if guys ever think
“Maybe i was wrong, maybe she didn’t deserve that,maybe she’s the only one who would ever be down for me”
You need to know that some people will never love you the way you want to be loved. They will serve your body, not your soul. They can only connect with you through utility and not passion. They are empty. They are dead inside. They will break your heart if you let them. You will waste your life waiting for them to wake up to the treasures you have to offer.
Don’t let it break you, no matter how hard it gets, life goes on. Chase your dreams baby girl, these boys are going nowhere. 7 billion people in the world, remember?
Author’s Note: I apologize if this post was longer than what you usually read this is what happens when i start my writing at 3Am lol, and it was inspired by someone i know who was hurt by her two timing boyfriend and this is just me saying what’s in my heart.
If you read it, feedback is welcome and constructive criticism is appreciated (lol new to blogging and still green). If you loved it, please use the share button, maybe someone else would benefit from it.