“Aunty,anything for the boys?”
Horror creeps up my face as i assess the lanky security man with two missing front teeth grinning down my driver side mirror,his small band of load-carriers raising up the chant of :
“Aunty drop na”
” Anything for us? ”
People are now turning to stare at me in the parking lot,dissaproving expressions on their silly faces. They must be thinking me to be a stuck-up stingy oil princess -damn the NNPC sticker on my windscreen. I grit my teeth as i slip out two of my neatest five hundred naira notes and hand it over,making sure little physical contact was made in the process.
The lanky security man with the two missing front teeth crumples up my naira notes,shoving it as quickly as possible into his pocket. This,however did not escape the notice of his partners in crime as they raised up another chant behind him.
“Madam you do well oo…”
“Mummy well done oo…”
I flash my winning smile at them,the one that people claim made me win Miss Unizik in 2010 and back out of the parking lot as quickly as my steering could guide me.
Cruising slowly down 3rd Mainland bridge, i cannot help but ponder on the degeneration the country had fallen to. Two five hundred naira notes had just bought me the title of “mummy” to a grown up man.
Dear Nigerians, have we been taught to beg?
There’s this thing i Like to call corporate begging. It’s in the security man outside the atm staring at you longingly, the smile never leaving his face. – Sorry, oga this money has plans. Using the atm doesn’t make me rich, i just withdrew my last 1k. Tankio veli mush (Thank You very much).
Corporate begging is in these bank marketers…. God! They need to do something about these people.
“…. But i already have an account with another bank”
“Aunty, it doesn’t mean. You need two, in case of emergency…with just N500 I’ll open this account for you now now”
It’s needless to add that this account might not see the light of day. No alert! Nothing! They wouldn’t even create your cheap N500 account. At all, at all na im bad pass.
Corporate begging is in these indian children all over the streets, haunting you in the market like the shadow of a forgotten ancestor, troubling you at bus stands like an ex that wouldn’t let go. Kilosele? Am i the causer of your problem?
You think you know fear? Wait till one of these children hug you and refuse to let you go unless you drop something. I still remember the one that nearly pushed me inside gutter based on hugging tins. I still commit that N10 i gave her into the hands of God. Mbok, i can’t shout!
Should we blame the economy or what is it? The average Nigerian now thinks they’re entitled to something. Make little money and see how people think they’re entitled to spend it with you, beg you till you go broke. Sad! We’re becoming a country of beggars. The average Nigerian is now wired to beg their way through anything. More like, if you can’t afford it, beg! Somebody must be touched, especially on social media.
Anyways, since Christmas is almost upon us(where every single Nigerian feels they’re entitled to a little something from an aunty or uncle, yours truly inclusive) i think, in the spirit of corporate begging, I’d get a POS machine from my bank for these evil relatives who claim not to have cash on them. Auntie. Uncle, Swipe.