Dealing With Confrontation! 

I can’t. 

I just can’t. 

Call me a coward or anything, but the idea of walking up to someone or someone walking up to me and going all we need need to talk gives me a sick feeling in my throat and leaves me tongue tied.

They say Taurus belongs to the Hurt me once, lose me forever squad and although I don’t believe in horoscopes and signs and  what nots, I’m strongly going with this. I believe that people will hurt you because they want to and like I’ve told alot of people, 

We all have a choice, irrespective of what we tell ourselves that we don’t, and we make them and sometimes the Choice is not you. 

This may sound out of place, but stay with me. People have a choice to hurt you or not and if they do, what then is the point of confronting them, nothing would change and most of the times they’d lie. 

Back in the day, when I used to be a relationship person – for the record, I totally do not believe in commitments at this point. I used to confront the exes – a stranger calling, a new message on your phone, cheating signs and everything. Of course all the answers I used to get were lies and lies and some more, sprinkled with more lies. Pray, tell, what the point of Confrontation is. 

I once had a distant associate say some ill things about me to someone else – distant associate because friendship by association, friend of a friend and so it goes. It struck like a knife with a sharp blade of anger,but what hurt the most was the fact that I wasn’t close to this person telling stories to someone else because the someone else was the new girlfriend of an ex, who became the roommate to a cousin of a friend – I might just get a headache. 

I confronted her,and everyone else involved  in the saga,  but it came with no peace. Everyone became shaggy and went all it wasn’t me. 

This brings me back to wondering what the point of Confrontation is. Right now, I just slip out of your life faster than the speed of light and leave you wondering what happened – Las Las, I no kuku get strength for He said, she said. 

Yesterday, I fought with an ex. You see, I belong to the school of thought that once it’s gone, it should stay gone. I totally do not see the point of staying friends with an ex. Fine, it works for some people, but really you’re just giving Okafor’s law a chance to operate in your life – please don’t let the devil use you. Lol!  So, the fight was about me not talking to him – now refer to where I said I vanish like the speed of light. I told him to leave me alone in no certain terms and he told me to take the chip off my shoulder and preach peace. 

It made me feel guilty a bit and it looked like I was just being mean, not talking to someone for no reason. However, how do you explain to someone that you know they’re being fake or a pretender with a fine coating of lies. Such discussions with an ex,  I find highly unnecessary and unproductive, because it’ll keep going back to what went on in the relationship and what did not – the kind of Confrontation I am never prepared for. 

So, tell me people. Do you like Confrontation? How do you deal with these things when they come? Funny, I made this post because the girl I talked about in the beginning of this post just sent me a message that went like – hey, 1nigeriangirl,  I just want to clear the air. Now, how do I tell her I don’t want the air cleared after months of silence and having to live with the aftermath of her gossip,without looking like I have a chip  on my shoulder. How do you say you just don’t want to extend the white flag. 

This just reminded me of a friend I had, I lost him because he  used to talk about me to my friend telling her not to tell me – like, what even?,   then he would come back and talk to me about her and so the merry went round . I got tired of pretending not to know what he was doing and that was it. I still vouch for him in certain circles and even if he’d never believe it, I still encourage people to be his friend because totally he is a great person, but that was it for me, a deal breaker. Look at it more like, I forgive you but stay gone – looks like a chip on the shoulder, right? Oh, well! 

Valar Morghulis! 
PS: If you know me in real life and you read this post by mistake, which I hope never happens, please don’t ask me anything about it. I don’t like Confrontation. ☺ 

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