On deserving… Accolades

Hey, I’m 20, Nigerian and I deserve some accolades.

First, for being Nigerian and surviving.

*waits for applause*

Funny how it’s 365 already and I never believed I would make it past 16. Life does come at you fast.

I like to say that I am grateful for the journey and prepared to take on new challenges but in reality, I’m terrified and really want to go back to being a child, when I had great skin, no acne and zero baggage.

Now, I have to be careful not to make mistakes because I’ve passed the stage of blaming it on teen exuberance, life came at me fast.

I’m bad at writing birthday posts for myself, so you’re probably going to get depressed reading this one :

The last year was one of the significant years of my life. I learned several life lessons and felt every emotion in the book – love, hate, war, betrayal. Man, you know how it is.
I made a lot of mistakes and I (am) grew (growing) through it and even if sometimes it doesn’t look like it, I’m a work in progress and the master ain’t done with this piece yet.

I am going to thank God for everything, cliché as it sounds, because I never would have made it through without him. All the nights I lay worrying and he came through – if you know me, you’d know worrying is my only hobby, it is what it is. So, God you’ve Been good, I don’t deserve it and I’m looking towards another 365 with you. You deserve some accolades 🏆

The last one year was the last of my writing sabbatical. Someone pushed me to do better. I used to write for my blog when I felt like and that was almost never and I would always match myself against others in the game and be like, why bother trying. I had someone who literally forced me to pick up the pen again and for this, I’m grateful. You deserve some accolades 🏆

This one’s for all my clients who trusted me to deliver, always. You guys are the reason I’m still here. Here’s to doing more business with you all. Accolades, y’all 🏆

To all the people who did me wrong, I don’t hold it against you. To the ones that couldn’t keep me out of their mouth and tried to badmouth me to a whole lot of people, I hope sey una don finally dey alright. I got love for you but you’ll probably never hear from me again. Petty wap? Yeah

To all the boys that broke my heart in this one year, and this may consist of – Either, not replying my messages on time, snubbing me, crushing on someone else when I’m crushing on you, even if I didn’t tell you, may roasted thunder fire all of you and I hope that everytime you shower, soap gets in your eyes.

To all the people I have hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, this is me saying sorry. I’m as messed up as they come, don’t give up on me yet, I’m almost awesome.

Now that I’m done with being 19, let’s move over to grown talk.

When you hit the big twenty, it dawns on you how much little time you have to blow, how you’ve been in pointless relationships all your life and how you’ve basically been wasting your life, doing nothing. Or, there’s the plot twist, where you don’t realize this till you’re 25, but we’re not here for that.

When I count how many years left for me to make money, marry and settle down, I shudder. Time no dey again.

So here’s to all the boys – it’s time to level up.

It’s an old joke, how you guys only come to me when you’re broke, dying or sick. Edakun! I know I come from two generations of nurses but please, that’s not my calling. Help me to help you.

Stop wasting your time with all those girls fa, come now that I’m still single cos I don’t want anybody to shout, ojoro later when I blow. Yes, Lolu, I am talking to you, and Chike, and Quincy Brown, Zayn Malik & Trevor Jackson. Don’t play with me.. And don’t be like your brother Idris Elba that left me and went to marry. Don’t even play like that .

I know you people like awon thicker body, but see ehn, it’s not like I can’t be fat o, it’s just poverty and school life that’s doing me. Come and be with me in my bonga fish, flat like a dish stage cos when I blow, I will only be with those that rode with me. If you like do like you didn’t hear.

Iwo lomo.

28 thoughts on “On deserving… Accolades

  1. Happy birthday. That part of having little time to blow got to me. I’ve been thinking of that lately, but then, life is not that hard. Just do your thing, go all in and enjoy the moments. Good things like “blowing” will happen when you are ready and well positioned for it. Happy birthday once again. I want birthday cake but distance will not let us be great.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post totally Cracked me up😂. Hopefully the guys will get the memo and come to us. Got the clocking 20 feeling at 19 though so i guess it came earlier for me. Really nice post 😊.

    Liked by 1 person

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