Are we too conservative? (The Shuga Focus) 

So, this chick in my criminal prosecution class had her hands over her ears all through the “rape” discussion today.
Like, it wasn’t even sex Ed. or anything, but she  was just not here for it – at all. 

It Sha made everybody laugh, like Chile! You can’t be serious, because in our field, you’re expected to hear and see worse. 

The whole time I was just like :

😂 😂 😂 This picture kills me every single time.

However, it’s  sad that some people have a preconceived notion  that once some body parts come up in a discussion, a sin is about to occur.
They rather not see, speak or  hear it, like ignorance of the fact ever protected anyone.

I just know fo sho that  we’ll be alright las las.

The focus of this post is the recently concluded MTV hit series, Shuga, season 6.

 I remember when it was just released on YouTube, I posted clips on my story ; someone sent me a direct message stating strongly that she hated the show and would NOT be watching. 

Gee, MTV is so afraid.

She said it showed young people having sex and it had a gay boy in it (a previous season), it meant they were promoting homosexuality, and if it were her mother, the boy would be dead.

 

Is your mouth still open? ‘cos mine was, for a long time. First of all, the show does not promote people having sex, it doesn’t show you how to have sex or anything. Instead, it shows what young people are doing these days and the attendant consequences.

See, take it to the bank, young people are having sex, everyday even. Movies are make believe and they only “represent” everyday circumstances. If we don’t act movies with these scenes in it, it doesn’t change the fact that young people are having sex and most, out of peer pressure or because no one talked to them about it.

In many homes, sex education does not exist. Many people learned about the human anatomy from the schools or online, because most parents are too conservative to talk about it. They prefer their child remain ignorant of the fact, in a bid to protect them. Instead, these kids learn from fellow kids and because no one talked to them about it, end up in horrible situations, consequences that last a lifetime. 

So, yes. We are too conservative, in this country. You’d think that with all the assistant Jesus’ we have, we’d be better people, but go figure.

This woman killed me every episode 😂

Talking about Shuga Naija, I love how the season 6 showed that actions comes with consequences, like in Princess’ case, HIV and a baby. So, basically if you’re not ready to walk the walk, don’t talk the talk. Okay?

If you watched the show, you’d have seen where Leila and Tobi had arguments about condoms – he didn’t use them, didn’t pull out and left it for her to “figure out”. She was what? Like 16.

Then there’s Faa, the model cum video vixen, who had to shoulder her family responsibilities because her dad was deadbeat, really. The hazards of her job included getting harassed by men to get by. She practically had to sleep her way through every job, and the one time she said no, she was raped.

There’s Diana, the Queen bee who thought that by dating men with cars, she had arrived in life. As the assistant secretary General of the Small Girls-big god association, she encouraged her friends to go out with older guys and invited them to a party where Frances was eventually molested. She abandoned Frances at the party and tried to blackmail her for telling Corper Yasmin what had happened.

There’s like a lot of peer pressure going on in this show, a mirror of real life situations. See how Faa’s younger brother had to become a thief because he was ashamed of  his sister providing for the house and getting slut shamed a lot at his school, for it. He tried to man up in the way he thought best, which was illegal and landed him in trouble. 

There’s a lot going on in the show that’s a replica of real life situations, and instead of running off with the idea that it would corrupt your kids or something, can we first look at the positives?

Frances’ rape shows us that the stubborn fly follows the corpse to the grave. You see those things that other people do and escape, you do once and get caught? Yeah! The one! 

It also broached the dreaded topic of early marriage which is becoming a bane in our society; Babies having babies.

Diana’s fake protection remedies; like, this is 2018 and people still believe Washing yourself with alcohol after sex would prevent pregnancy – you’ll be very surprised.

Leila going for black market abortion drugs without being sure she’s even pregnant. All these stem from the non existent sex education culture. 
If we were to take a survey, the only sex education 99% of Nigerian youths had from their parents or schools was the “don’t have sex” mantra. What about the What? When? How? And the fact that curiosity killed the cat? 

Faa’s final decision to go to the police was the wisest one. I think what they were trying to achieve here was to pass the message on that its okay to report to the authorities, to talk to someone, to bring perpetrators to book.

 There’s already alot of stigma surrounding rape victims and that’s why a lot of them prefer to not come forward. 

Although I felt she should have drawn the line after the first time with Tobi, he was no good.

 It’s equally sad that cases like this don’t always resolve themselves amicably as they do in the movies.
For those who prefer not to know, for some preconceived religious notions, knowledge of these things doesn’t make you bad, spoilt, tear eye or whatever they call it these days. It makes you woke!

Imagine being young, 16 maybe and a boy is trying to persuade you to have sex, says he’ll pull out or vodka or gin would take care of it. Fa fa fa. Foul. Issa lie. Be very woke!… Wait! You don’t have sex education, so how would you know? 

I remember once, I overheard a discussion where some girls who claimed to “know”, said and I quote “if you play around with a boy, as long as you didn’t actually have sex or as long as you’re still a virgin, you’re safe”

Recent studies have actually shown that the hymen is semi permeable and contact with semen could in fact lead to pregnancy, but then our reading culture is so poor that people still stick to old wives tales, and to that, I say, may the odds be in your favor.

We are the generation of change and I hope that in training the generations after us, we teach them that there’s nothing wrong with talking about “ it”. That they should know about PEP in case they’re raped or fall into occasions of exposure. That when a boy treats you like Tobi does, it’s not love but emotional blackmail. That girls like Leila are already beautiful on their own and don’t need any boy to define them.

I hope we tell them that when boys associate being mature (you’re a big girl na, stop acting like a baby) with having sex or being open to all that lewdness and lecherousness; that they see it for what it is, all they have to offer. That love and Sex are two parallel lines and the presence of the latter doesn’t ensure the stability of the former. That boys being boys will say whatever they want you to hear. That it’s okay to be called Childish because you’d rather not sacrifice your body on the altar of lust.

That saying no is an answer. 

A full sentence that doesn’t need to be explained.


P.S: All photo credit goes to Google search and if you want a play by play summary of Shuga season 6 you should visit mindofamaka.com or just click here

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16 thoughts on “Are we too conservative? (The Shuga Focus) 

  1. We are not conservative, we are pretentious… So many of us doing the worst in our rooms and condemning people who are bold enough to preach so other won’t be misled. Pointing fingers (like most parents do, instead of advice) is not the way to go. The random “I hope they are not pressing you by the corner” is not sex education…

    Growing up, I didn’t have much home based sex education; thank God for my secondary school to an extent and my sisters but now, my mom preaches safe sex and all after seeing some “good kids” pregnant at such an early age. She will boldly tell moms to not assume they know what their kids are doing and make an attempt to have a conversation with them about such stuff…

    Long comment but I really enjoyed this post… I like the infusion of humor too… Well done!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, it’s pretence. We grew up in a society that considers somethings overly inappropriate and unfortunately, a majority of us live to please others in order to protect our reps. So we hide when we do the things we like and then join people to openly condemn. You won’t believe what the girl closing her ears in-class could be doing in her room. 🤷

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You know, shows like Shuga can be used by ‘shy’ parents to open the floor for discussions on sex. I believe that many of us are conservative and many too are pretentious. And then, there are the naive ones who think they know but know nothing. Sad!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. But why do parents shy away from these truth then? Why do they make it a taboo to talk freely about sex in homes? Why did no one discuss it openly? A lot of kids out there have learn about sex the wrong way, some have found themselves in the most unheard situation as a result of our pretense and so-called religious ways.

    It’s a good thing people are beginning to draw so much awareness about it now through open discussions and movies. And for posts like these, it should be shared everywhere and not left to remain here.

    Debwritesblog

    Liked by 1 person

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